Archive for the ‘humor’ Category
System Errors
The following are suggested system error messages for MickeySoft Windoze, they make more sense than most of the error messages that are already part of the operating system:
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Third World Quality Control
While looking for another draft I found the following somewhere in the dusty file cabinets of this site.
One of the problems with living in a “third world country” is that often one is subjected to less than ideal products and services. One pretty much has to just put up with it, although sometimes one CAN influence a situation or person to provide a better outcome than expected.
This type of situation happened on Sunday. There was a local IPSCA competition. Dozens of people congregated. Dozens of guns were all over the place. Thousands of rounds of ammunition were available. Besides the usual crowd of guys there were also a number of women in attendance – some of which were fairly attractive. But, contrary to what we are told to expect by the mass media and the “political gurus”- not one murder, robbery or rape took place.
This leads me to the following conclusion. Since we live in a third world country where the aforementioned quality control problems tend to abound it is quite obvious – the place was full of defective guns…
The Birthday Post – 2007
The piece below was written as a “birthday post”. The idea of a “Birthday Post” was started by fellow Pistol Packing Preacher Charles Graff. In years past Charles would post a controversial subject, attacking some “holy cow” of the shooting sports in a well thought out manner. People would rise to the bait and the dust and fur would fly. Then he’d own up as to how it was his birthday and folks would realize they’d been had. Over the years others have attempted to follow his example, but few have shown his skill. Some would merely say something like “Hillary Clinton’s right. I’m going to destroy all my guns” or some other such transparent effort. As I type this it is the day before my 42nd birthday. I’ve been cogitating on what kind of post to put up for 364 days. 
Over the past week I’ve put some more thought into the matter and finally decided to “go for it”. I’m guessing that the post below will generate some heat from certain quarters – or it could actually get ignored. Only time will tell. My question at this moment is, “Do the guys know me well enough to realize it’s a joke?” Surely by now SOMEONE realizes I’ve got an extremely weird sense of humor. We shall see what we shall see, as the butler said when he looked through the keyhole.
And, furthermore, to show that I’m not a completely insensitive person, I DIDN”T post the original 2007 birthday post on the forum. First I asked a fellow conspirator and radical thinker about it. Well, ok, the posting won’t occur there. Instead, I put up the first piece which is immediately below this. It’s more of a general “birthday post” instead of the pot stirring one I’d typed up yesterday.
All the recent talk about flat guns has put me to cogitatin’ a bit about them. I know that Jeff Cooper was a real proponent of the bottom feeding 1911 family of firearms, but for serious, dependable, defensive work, the semi automatic just doesn’t cut it.The semiautomatic is plagued by a host of weak points which can cause problems when it is called upon to defend one’s life. The weakening of springs in the magazine lead to failures to feed and/or eject (depending on design), the easily deformed magazine lips which also provide feeding problems, the strength (or lack thereof) of the recoil spring which can cause problems for proper feeding, not to mention the need to run pretty much full bore ammunition through them to ensure that the slide will reciprocate properly, all are inherent design flaws.
For defensive use you need a gun that’s likely to go “BANG!” each and every time you pull the trigger. If you get a dud while shooting a semiauto, you need need both hands to run the clearance drill prior to continuing with what you were doing. On the range this is an inconvenience – in a firefight it can get you killed. Yes, you can learn to grasp the slide between your knees or use other means to clear a dud or other failure to function, but most of the procedures to do so are not very safe to execute, unfortunate word there, execute…
Yes, I’ve owned (still do) and carried semi automatic pistols – back in my wet ears years. In a 22 for plinking they are a blast and the jams and malfunctions are not too much of a hassle since they’re almost invariably used on the range and not in defensive situations. But for pure reliability? A good revolver will out shine any semi automatic in that department. You can load anything from wax bullet to full bore hunting loads and they’ll keep on tickin’ – with no fussing around with finicky springs, barrel ramps and other such nonsense. You can load any kind of bullet profile from round ball to full wadcutter to jacketed hollow points to shot loads – and it will feed and fire them all.
I know there’s no way some of you will give up your slide action flatguns, and that’s OK. But you really should consider the danger you expose yourself to by relying on them for defensive work. I guess the best way to sum it up is: “I sure hope you never have to bet your life on one.”
The original “2007 Birthday Post” can be found in the complete article.
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An expert, on why we need to disarm everyone…
Well, here you have it – the reason why everyone should be disarmed. After all, weapons are dangerous to people like this guy. It’s logical that they should be banned, prohibited, forbidden. Thanks, Hobie, for bringing this to my attention. I’m VERY convinced now!
Gun Free Zones – the answer to “Gun Violence”
Thanks to Hobie for bringing this video to my attention on his own blog. Really, why hasn’t anyone thought of this before? It’s so simple, ANYONE can use this method to put a stop to crimes committed with firearms!
A Look At Micro$ofts “Table of the future”…
Micro$oft is talking about their vision for the future – a multimedia table. Here’s a humorous look at it. Language alert. If you’re easily offended by “modern” language – best stay away. I got this off of Hot Air.
The First Annual Open Borders Oscar Awards
Michelle Malkin hosts “The First Annual Open Borders Oscar Awards“. A HOOT! I still don’t understand folks who claim that there are major differences between the two major political parties in the US, to the point of urging folks to vote blindly “for the right party”. There are too many Republicans who support the “shamnesty” bill, too many who support abortion, too many who support sodomy for me to say “The Republicans are God’s gift to America!” like some folks seem to claim. Vote the issues, not the party. As we were saying, “The First Annual Open Borders Oscar Awards” is a real hoot. Michelle’s typical humor shines light on the idiocy in Washington.
The First Annual Open Borders Oscars
Posted Jun 11, 2007
Hot Air’s Michelle Malkin takes the stage to hand out the Open Borders Oscars awards.
