09.01.07
The Birthday Post - 2007
The piece below was written as a “birthday post”. The idea of a “Birthday Post” was started by fellow Pistol Packing Preacher Charles Graff. In years past Charles would post a controversial subject, attacking some “holy cow” of the shooting sports in a well thought out manner. People would rise to the bait and the dust and fur would fly. Then he’d own up as to how it was his birthday and folks would realize they’d been had. Over the years others have attempted to follow his example, but few have shown his skill. Some would merely say something like “Hillary Clinton’s right. I’m going to destroy all my guns” or some other such transparent effort. As I type this it is the day before my 42nd birthday. I’ve been cogitating on what kind of post to put up for 364 days. 
Over the past week I’ve put some more thought into the matter and finally decided to “go for it”. I’m guessing that the post below will generate some heat from certain quarters - or it could actually get ignored. Only time will tell. My question at this moment is, “Do the guys know me well enough to realize it’s a joke?” Surely by now SOMEONE realizes I’ve got an extremely weird sense of humor. We shall see what we shall see, as the butler said when he looked through the keyhole.
And, furthermore, to show that I’m not a completely insensitive person, I DIDN”T post the original 2007 birthday post on the forum. First I asked a fellow conspirator and radical thinker about it. Well, ok, the posting won’t occur there. Instead, I put up the first piece which is immediately below this. It’s more of a general “birthday post” instead of the pot stirring one I’d typed up yesterday.
All the recent talk about flat guns has put me to cogitatin’ a bit about them. I know that Jeff Cooper was a real proponent of the bottom feeding 1911 family of firearms, but for serious, dependable, defensive work, the semi automatic just doesn’t cut it.The semiautomatic is plagued by a host of weak points which can cause problems when it is called upon to defend one’s life. The weakening of springs in the magazine lead to failures to feed and/or eject (depending on design), the easily deformed magazine lips which also provide feeding problems, the strength (or lack thereof) of the recoil spring which can cause problems for proper feeding, not to mention the need to run pretty much full bore ammunition through them to ensure that the slide will reciprocate properly, all are inherent design flaws.
For defensive use you need a gun that’s likely to go “BANG!” each and every time you pull the trigger. If you get a dud while shooting a semiauto, you need need both hands to run the clearance drill prior to continuing with what you were doing. On the range this is an inconvenience - in a firefight it can get you killed. Yes, you can learn to grasp the slide between your knees or use other means to clear a dud or other failure to function, but most of the procedures to do so are not very safe to execute, unfortunate word there, execute…
Yes, I’ve owned (still do) and carried semi automatic pistols - back in my wet ears years. In a 22 for plinking they are a blast and the jams and malfunctions are not too much of a hassle since they’re almost invariably used on the range and not in defensive situations. But for pure reliability? A good revolver will out shine any semi automatic in that department. You can load anything from wax bullet to full bore hunting loads and they’ll keep on tickin’ - with no fussing around with finicky springs, barrel ramps and other such nonsense. You can load any kind of bullet profile from round ball to full wadcutter to jacketed hollow points to shot loads - and it will feed and fire them all.
I know there’s no way some of you will give up your slide action flatguns, and that’s OK. But you really should consider the danger you expose yourself to by relying on them for defensive work. I guess the best way to sum it up is: “I sure hope you never have to bet your life on one.”
The original “2007 Birthday Post” can be found in the complete article.
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